Bec & Ash’s dark mofo wedding
✖️a dark destination wedding➕
(5 minute read)
During Covid lockdown, most couples were baking sourdough or learning to knit.. Not Bec and Ash! The couple from Perth ventured south-east during the Winter solstice, entering their marriage amongst the beautiful pagan chaos that is Dark Mofo festival!
A LITTLE ABOUT BEC & ASH
We met in 2010 working together in a local upmarket pub in Perth, WA. Ash was managing and I was running the events and functions. We kept it under wraps for about a year before we decided to finally go "public" and apparently everyone already knew! lol
We were both the "non-marrying" and the child-free kind. Still definitely unequivocally 1000% child-free. However, my values shifted during the marriage equality act and I suggested it would be a good idea to get married for legal purposes (yes, how romantic).
He is so chill about everything he was like yeah okay. HAHA
So I've never owned dolls, I've never had a pretend wedding or pretend child growing up, it was never me. The idea of trying on wedding dresses is so ICK. I literally felt ill thinking about a wedding ring.
So I jumped online, found a ring (emailed it to Ash), found a STUNNING dress online and FedEX'd to Australia (yes I didn't even try it on). And no, it definitely isn't white (I don't own any white clothing). I told Ash if he got on one knee i would punch him in the throat. So one day while getting ready for my birthday party he gave me the ring I selected for myself haha!
I wore it and told no one, until someone at the party noticed it and made a big fuss so I took it off and didn't wear it for ages! lol
WEDDING LOCATION
Hobart - During Dark Mofo.
WHY DID YOU CHOOSE YOUR WEDDING LOCATION?
Actually, we were going to travel to Hawaii—two of our best travelling friends and general BFFs were coming along! We decided we were going to surprise them on the trip and announce they were going to be our witnesses! And then BAM. COVID. So we gave up on the idea of getting married.
When suddenly one of our all time fave festivals Dark Mofo decided they would still run through Covid and guess what! WA could travel to TAS! Woohoo!
So again we did the sneaky sneaky and asked our BFFs to come along which they said they would (still unbeknownst to them).. But then I realised that while we were in Australia, we should let a few more of our BFFs around Aus know to come, and yes we spilled the tea and told them about our plans—we just knew if we invited them to Dark Mofo and they said no and then found out what they missed they would have been upset! So only a select few knew.
We got married literally IN Dark Mofo with a roving ceremony throughout the festival.
The ceremony started in front of Ramesh Mithiyendran's "Earth Deities", we had an Acknowledgement of Country and missed friends (some sadly got locked out because of borders last minute!) next to the Golden Sperm, we wrote our fears and sins in the Stag Beetle Ogoh Ogoh, we exchanged vows and rings on the dance floor, and had our first kiss as a married couple in front of Odeon Theatre. We then jumped in a cab and went to Faro inside MONA for our dinner reception celebration. I loved the concept of having dinner with extra courses of James Turrell pieces - magnificient!
HOW MANY GUESTS DID YOU HAVE?
7 (originally 11, but 4 got COVID lock-out of the state! booo VICTORIA)
WHAT TRADITIONS DID YOU KEEP OR GET RID OF AND WHY?
We had a celebrant, that might be the only tradition we kept haha!
We had one ring that I was wearing well before the day (no engagement ring, no wedding one, just one ring to rule them all).
I had a gorgeous red dress by Oscar De La Rent (its fucking fabulous and I wear it nearly every year!)
I made my own bouquet out of paper cranes, because I love them and they represent hope and eternal happiness— and also because I could bring the paper from Perth to Tas.
We had all of our guests stay together in the one massive airbnb, pre, during and post celebrations.
I decided only last minute to get my hair and make up down while everyone waited at the pub next door. Once it was done, I got dressed there (In the make up place - Make Up Bar, Hobart!) and walked down the road to the pub to see my soon-to-be husband and friends and we all walked down to Dark Mofo together.
We embargoed everyone's social media because it was an elopement, none of our friends or family knew, other than the ones there (and the ones stuck in VIC of course). Once we had one wedding shot, we sent it to our parents, posted it on social media, and then we switched off our phones!
After we returned back to Perth, we ended up having 3 Reception parties.. One very casual one with all of our friends at the pub that Ash and I met at. One with my family in Perth where we had a massive buffet at Crown. Our final reception was a year later where we flew back to New Zealand (where Ash is from) to celebrate with his family.
It was absolutely brilliant, and allowed us to have proper time with each of our friends and family without being stressed about getting to everyone in none night!
WHAT WAS YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE DAY?
I couldn't pick just one—the whole thing was magical.
FUNNY OR ICONIC MOMENTS
There was a moment where I'm sure people thought our ceremony was part of Dark Mofo and started walking with us to the places haha! I was so caught up in the moment of course I didn't notice until we looked at the photos and saw the crowd around us!
We loved the dinner at Faro... during Covid the band was just there to jam and have fun and wasn't orchestrated in any way, so they were appearing on the roof, around the room, using anything for instruments and jamming with the small number of patrons. It was good fun!
The James Turrell piece inside MONA as part of the dinner was phenomenal, we were actually going to try and do our vows in there but we had too many people!
ANY ADVICE FOR COUPLES WANTING A NON-TRADITIONAL DAY?
Just literally do whatever you want. Don't try to please anyone but yourselves, this ESPECIALLY includes parents. There are no right or wrong ways to do anything you want.
So many people have said to me afterwards that the wedding was so uniquely "us" and how "you just made it yours".. It made me wonder why ANYONE'S wedding isn't just theirs?
So some tips I'd suggest:
1) Stay True to Yourselves: Focus on what truly matters to you as a couple. Incorporate elements that reflect your personalities and values.
2) Be Creative: Think outside the box. Consider unique venues, unconventional ceremonies, or personalised rituals that mean something special to you.
3) Prioritise Meaning: Invest in what’s most important to you, whether it’s an intimate guest list, a specific theme, or a favourite activity/event/city etc.
4) Enjoy the Process: Planning should be enjoyable, not stressful.
VENDORS & SUPPLIERS
Celebrant - Marry Me Memily
Make up and Hair - Makeup Bar Hobart
Photography - Rosie Hastie
Dress - Oscar de la Renta
Ring - Tiffany & Co
Dinner - Faro at MONA
Event - Dark Mofo
Bouquet - Bec
Marry Me Memily
A celebrant isn't a tradition—more a necessity, if you want to be legally married! And clearly not all celebrants fit in a traditional box. Memily worked with Bec and Ash to come up with the kind of custom celebration that would do credit to both their relationship and their elopement, and getting to flex some creative muscles made for a unique adventure that stepped outside the box of what a "wedding ceremony" can look like, if you pick the right celebrant for you.
⚡️ Mem will be at the expo if you want to have a chat! ⚡️ - Check out Mem’s bio 👈
